“Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?” Isaiah 45:9
When Kent, my oldest, was three years old, we received an offer in the mail for a free “See-to-Learn” exam from our insurance. I had been “home educating” Kent (a new term I learned today…explanation to come later) since age two. He never gave indication that his vision was less than perfect. So, I confidently scheduled an appointment for him at three, and set out to show off my brilliant little man. After the initial peek at the balloon in the thingamajig and the failed attempt at the puff of air in a 3-year-olds eyes portion of the exam, we headed to the real exam. The doctor walked in and asked some questions. She began by showing Kent pictures on the screen rather than letters, to which I proudly announced was unnecessary as he knew all of his letters AND their sounds. He seemed to be enjoying the little game until she covered his right eye. Suddenly, he lost all interest in the exam. He refused to look at the letters. She increased the size. He said, “I don’t want to do this any more. This is not fun.” I thought, “She doesn’t know my son. I need to ask him the questions so he will understand.” So, with all of my years of pediatric ophthalmic expertise, I jumped in and began the quizzing. Still, he changed the subject, acted disinterested, and I could feel the red rising in my cheeks from the humiliation. I thought, “That obstinate little turkey! How could he embarrass me in front of the doctor?” I said, “He is just bored.” After all, we had been going through previous exams or waiting on the doctor for a good 30 minutes by the time she finally came in. The doctor calmly gave me “the look.” You know, the one where you feel you have just received a gentle scolding without really audibly hearing it? And suddenly I realized I was in denial of the truth. My son could not see through his left eye and I was in denial!! When all was said and done, the results were 20/100 in that left eye. His right eye was nearly perfect. With the two eyes combined, he could pass for a better score and with corrective lenses, an even better one but not perfect. The hope is that having caught the problem early on, the muscles in his left eye will improve before his 8th or 9th birthday, at which point the muscles will have fully developed and there will be no chance of strengthening them. Unfortunately, we have had to patch his eye for two different 6-month periods for 4-hour intervals each day. If you have an active little guy around your house, you know just how agonizing of a process patching the fella’s good eye can be. Not only are they annoyed by the patch itself, but their vision is greatly minimized, thus creating an enormous barrier for complete, fulfilling play! After all, that’s what life is all about to a 3-year-old. But, we endure it as best we can. He is tolerating his second 6-month patch wearing period since August. We have had to resort to praying together over the agony of wearing the patch for 4 hours a day. It’s just as difficult for a 5-year-old as it is for a 3-year-old.
A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were sitting at the table eating a snack after “home education.” Kent was wearing a patch (I have chosen to spend a little more money on the disposable patches – the cardboard black covered patch with the elastic around the head thing doesn’t work for us one iota). The kids were just chattering away oblivious to my notice really. As I watched them, my heart suddenly jumped in my throat for my poor little 5-year-old cyclops. He looks so pitiful with that pathetic patch as he makes an obvious effort to see from his left eye – 20/100 vision and all. I nearly had to choke back tears! I don’t know why it struck me so terribly that day, but as I pondered how awful it must be for my busy little man to work around the blindness, I entertained the thought that we should let the kid have a normal childhood and forget the patching. Let him have his fun now. Was this agony really going to pay off in the end anyway?
But as the little devil on my right shoulder spoke in my ear, the little white angel jumped on the left and whispered, “What kind of mother would you be if you allowed some temporary pleasure to interfere with future benefits? A little pain and sweat now, a lot of reward and profit in years to come.” Though Kent disagrees with my methods at five, when he is fifty and still has an unrestricted drivers’ license and has no problem staring at a computer or reading a book, he will pick up the phone, call his mommy (who always knew best) and thank her for not being a softy and letting her feelings get in the way of reality.
Yes, all of these thoughts crossed my mind in just a few moments, and I knew what my next blog entry was going to be. So I grabbed my camera and shot a few pitiful snapshots to correspond with today’s topic. Can you see why a mother’s heart would scream to abandon the patching process? Kids love candy and sweets. (Well okay, so do I.) My kids would live on cookies (Kent) and Starbursts (Arielle) if I would let them. But I don’t let them. I know that if they are going to grow strong physically and mentally and remain healthy, they must have proper nutrition. I even take their nutrition to extra costly measures by giving them the MannaBears and GlycoBears every day. I want my kids to have the best possible brain power and a healthy life to give to the Lord. (I’m not sure I can adequately teach them proper nutrition as I cram green beans down their throat while I indulge in a piece of cheesecake for dinner…I’ll let you know how that works out in 20 years). But if you’re a parent, you understand that you cannot pamper your children with all of the finery in life when it is necessary for a little good old-fashioned elbow grease and discipline to build character and make them worthy citizens and faithful soldiers of the Cross. In fact, sometimes we have to offer them a little agony to provide a better outcome for the final picture.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11. Our perfect, all-knowing Father has a beautiful plan for each of his children’s lives. While I have no idea how much improvement Kent’s eye will have as a result of the patching process, God DOES see the bigger picture and He DOES know the purpose for our trials.
My (white) gold wedding band did not suddenly jump out of a mine as a beautiful, sparkling piece of jewelry. Have you ever studied the process gold endures before it becomes that valuable metal we all know and love? After it is mined, it must brave a refining period. There are a few varieties in the process now, but one of the oldest placed the gold in excessive heat, where the impurities were brought to the top and scraped away. This process is repeated many times before the most pure and perfect element is left in the pot (or whatever it is they boil it in). If the waste and impurities were not removed from my ring, it would crumble, bend, and certainly not be worthy of the diamond it embraces. Oh, and from what I understand, the process is repeated several times – excessive heat, impurities rise to the top, scrape away, excessive heat, impurities removed, excessive heat, and so on until a perfect, sparkling, and beautiful lump of gold is the only thing remaining.
“But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” Job 23:10
Each trial, each struggle, each valley we walk through and endure is designed to bring us forth as gold. It may be that our testing is of our own doing – a sin or stronghold we have trouble overcoming. Or it may just be a path God leads us down to help us to “draw nigh to God” so he can “draw nigh to you.” Either way, the troubles are meant for our good! Imagine that?!
So…we have two options when facing trials:
Option #1 - We can falsely accuse God of failing to love and care for us. We can pout and mope and get the idea lodged in our head that He allows only terrible things to come our way. We can sinfully lose faith in God’s infinite plan (“…without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please him…”). And we can lead a miserable, unhappy, defeated Christian life.
Option #2 – We can recognize our tribulations, however small or great they may be, for a pure, brilliant gold producing experience! You can recall the aforementioned verses and know that your Heavenly Father, the perfect Father, the most loving Father, and the Father who knows the last chapter of the book (the end result) is not mean, harsh, and ugly. He indeed wants to hold you in his arms and carry you lovingly through the waves of persecution. If the point of difficult experiences is to cause you to “draw nigh to God” so He can “draw nigh to you,” I think we can all safely say option #2 is the best choice?
His thoughts towards you are not evil. His thoughts towards you (the trials He allows to come into our lives) are there to give you “an expected end.” He longs for his children to come forth as gold. We are the clay. He is the Potter. We have no right nor the understanding to question his design. His thoughts are not our thoughts – and THANK GOD FOR THAT! I am so relieved that his thoughts and plans are higher than mine. I’d be in a heap of trouble if that weren’t so.
If you’re facing a trial, smile. Breath a sigh of relief. God’s not finished with you yet. He’s still workin’ on you – and that’s a good thing – it means He hasn’t given up on you. And He’s in control of the situation. So, sit back, take your hands off the steering wheel, and enjoy the ride. And don’t forget to stop and smell the roses along the way.
