The Love Letter Creation

.the.intro.
For many weeks, I have been contemplating blogging thoughts from God's Word as I spend time with him each day. I don't think I will be able to keep up with a daily entry, but I am aiming for a weekly post. If you become a "follower" of my blog, of course, you'll know if the miraculous takes place and I enter more often than weekly.

a.well.known.fact.and.the.painful.truth
When God creates a pastor's wife, he automatically instills in them the ability to speak. It’s a well-known fact, right? Every pastor's wife I have ever known can stand before her ladies and give an eloquent oration on God’s goodness and love. There may be different levels of expertise in this field as well as variety in style, anxiety, and preferred topic; nevertheless, they have the gift of presenting a flowing, reasonably smooth verbal presentation.

I surrendered to full time ministry of some kind at the age of 12. I was an introvert. Certainly God would call me to a foreign country where I would speak to the women of the jungles of Africa. I thought perhaps I could fulfill that calling. I majored in Speech and English in college. I thought perhaps through education and graded experience, the moment would come for me. I adored the drama in speech class. Memorizing and dramatizing was a walk in the park for me. I’d always loved performing in school and church plays. And English was a cinch. But compiling a bunch of jumbled thoughts and presenting a speech to a small group of peers and a professor was an entirely different thang altogether.

Well, since the original calling at age 12 didn’t ensure “art of speaking” as a qualification on my resume, and my college days came and went and still the gift did not come, certainly God planned to instill extraordinary talent in my makeup when the calling became a reality. I have been a pastor’s wife for over 2 years now. I have spoken at small church ladies’ meetings, baby showers, and other more well-attended events. I STILL lack a gifted speaking ability. I have forced myself to speak at our monthly ladies’ meetings for the past year in hopes that practice would make perfect. That method has failed me. I was certain that the spirit would come upon me and loosen my tongue as he had done with Zachariah, John the Baptist’s father. In vain, I tried. I pleaded with God for his wisdom, strength, and moving in this lacking area of my life. But the response was painful silence.

A few weeks ago after making another failed attempt at speaking for our ladies’ meeting, I came home depressed and distraught. “What’s wrong with me, Lord?” I wondered. “How can this be - pastor’s wife who cannot speak to her ladies? What kind of pastor’s wife am I?”

a.welcome.revelation.
It suddenly dawned on me that I was putting myself into the proverbial pastor’s wife box and I could not accept God’s unique design for me as an individual – the individual HE created ME to be. My heavy heart was suddenly a feather weight! The Lord whispered to me that night almost as clear as day that it was okay if I could not give an inspirational devotion to my ladies if that’s the kind of creature he created me to be! Isaiah 29:16b says, “…for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?” And then Isaiah 64:8 says, “But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.” He designed us to be the very person he wants us to be for the time and place he created us for. How much more peaceful our lives are when we come to this understanding and submit to the Potter our will and personal expectations.

Now, it is certainly most unfortunate (albeit painfully evident) for the ladies of WOBC that I am not a good public speaker and I will probably never be able to design and present an earth shattering devotion from God’s Word. Some of you WOBC ladies may be wondering what we are going to do about the monthly ladies’ meeting devotions. Never fear. While I cannot speak, I do have creative genes and I have something up my sleeve which will be unveiled when the timing is right. And while I have no desire to pain you with another failed attempt at opening my mouth with public dialogue, I love writing. I believe the Lord has given me a blog as a replacement tool with which to share my heart with my ladies in this much more desirable fashion! You can come and go at your own will, you can choose to read or not to read, and the intellect of a written transcript rather than a verbal oration from me, the out of the ordinary pastor’s wife, will have much more appeal to the recipient.

.conclusion.of.the.matter
Ladies, God designs each of his vessels with his own loving hand. There is no assembly line hovering over a conveyer belt or a scientist testing machines with input and output materials, corking out humans as quickly as possible. It wasn’t happenstance that threw us into our family, our city, state, or country, or even our situation in life. It wasn’t a mistake that you were born short or tall, skinny or fat, blonde or brunette, organized or spontaneous, sanguine or melancholy. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!!!” What a wonderful assurance from God’s Word!! While we should “die daily” to our flesh, we should ask God for the wisdom that we lack, ask the Lord to search us for hidden sin, and strive daily for the mastery, we must accept who we are.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

a.small.disclaimer.
Now, while I do not do well in a large crowd setting, a one-on-one heart-to-heart is my specialty. Lest I give the impression that I am not approachable or have not the desire to be a help and encouragement to you in your time of need, I am a phone call away. It does my heart a world of good to be there for the hurting, the questioning, the joyful and blessed, and everyone else in between!